Identity Struggles
What is Identity?
Who are you? If you had to describe yourself what are the first words you would use to explain the you that you are? Let’s take Cinderella from the well-known fairy tale. She might describe her identity as; woman, girl, motherless, servant, wife, fairy tale character. In using the words ‘woman’ and ‘girl’ she refers to her gender but also that she feels the pull of womanhood while still feeling like a young girl. ‘Motherless’ talks of her mother wound as well as the death of her mother when she was a young girl and her emotionally absent father’s remarriage to her step monster as being a core part of who she is and her story. ‘Servant’ tells us about her work identity. ‘Wife’ tells us about her marital status and ‘fairy tale character’ shows us thather identity is constructed by authors The Brothers Grimm. Our identity comprises of what constructs us at our core and how we perceive and choose to define ourselves.Often this includes political, religious, cultural, sexual and social identities which are influenced and also dictated by our parents and ancestry.
Symptoms of Identity Struggles
• Insomnia
• Headaches
• Gut issues
• Obsessive Compulsive disorder
• People pleasing
• Depression and anxiety
• Emotional dysregulation
• Drug and alcohol dependency
• Low self esteem and confidence
• Shame
• Self-harming and or suicidal ideation
When to seek treatment for Struggles with identity?
The evolution of self is a lifetime accomplishment and we will have moments in our life where we might feel insecure about who we are, about the true nature of our purpose, about our role in a family and about who we are in our own skin. The uncertainty and struggle with our sense of self can sometimes arise after a serious life event or shock. We start to re-evaluate the world around us and it feels hard to fall back on what we thought we knew. Life transitions; moving house, relationships, new jobs, death can also cause us to question our identity and who we are.
Sometimes the struggle is certainty rather than uncertainty. We know exactly who we are but feel like who we are is not okay for the people around us. Our identity becomes something we are not searching for but rather hiding in plain sight.
Developing a strong and robust sense of self and adapting to new experiences is part of a natural maturing process of human development but that does not mean it is without it’s struggle or pain.
Symptoms of identity struggles:
The Role of Psychotherapy in the Treatment of Identity Struggles
Our identity is a complex amalgamation of many different things. We often assume we should simply know who we are and what we are doing here. What if that is what this life was for, to figure all that out. In psychotherapy we will explore if you have ever known how to describe your identity and if not why not. We ask whether you are questioning an aspect of your life or a more existential questioning around life purpose. We examine your family background and how your identity may challenge how you were raised. There might be changes in religion or sexuality, politics or career that feel hard and conflict with who you think you are or should be. In a safe and non judgemental space we sit together and talk about who you are.